


A Quiet Mind

by Anemic_Royalty



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Doki Doki, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Gentle Kissing, Girls Kissing, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Romance, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Surprise Kissing, Sweet, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29935689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anemic_Royalty/pseuds/Anemic_Royalty
Summary: Yuri is a troubled girl who is often not seen by her peers. To fill the void of loneliness, she has chose other means to do so. Often destroying her physically and mentally. She needs a cure for the Storm in her mind, will she find it in a bratty pinkette?
Relationships: Natsuki/Yuri (Doki Doki Literature Club!)
Kudos: 25





	A Quiet Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I'm glad to have you here. This is my Natsuyuri that I have really been wanting to write lately, I actually came up with the title and a bunch of the scenarios in my head in the shower a few months ago, I just haven't had the energy to write. And even writing this, I had some trouble. Depression sucks, don't it? Anyways, I hope you enjoy it! If you have anything to say, negative or positive, tell me. I would love to hear your opinion! Anyways... Please enjoy chapter 1 of my newest story, "A Quiet Mind"

Yuri sighed, sitting at her desk, staring off into space, not exactly looking at anything, just wandering through the depths of her troubled mind. She didn't want to come to school today. She didn't want to be within a 10 mile radius of this place, but, she had told her parents she would not disobey them while they were gone for the week, and she was going to keep that promise no matter what. And, it's not that she didn't like school, she really did love learning things like history, and math, and learning how to speak English had always been a favorite of hers, even though it wasn't her first language, and Japanese was a much prettier language than English... But, that didn't matter. She was just... So drained. So tired of being around the people here. No, she wasn't bullied, harassed, or anything heinous like that, she was just... Tired of being in the background. She almost wished she was bullied, because at least then someone would notice her... Maybe then she would stop... The purple haired girl shook her head, "Stop thinking about that Yuri..." She mumbled, burying her face into her hands and sighing, "I'm a mess..." She heard the bell ring, signaling the end of study hall. Thank the gods, the day was finally over and she could go home! She felt a small smile of relief creep onto her face as she stood up, packing her stuff away into her bag, but, as she was putting something into her binder she saw a piece of paper in the front. Confused, she looked at it closer and her face dropped. She had completely forgotten all about the tutoring hours she was supposed to complete today! She had to get to the library and hope the person she is supposed to be tutoring didn't leave and report her to a teacher for bailing on them... "Damn it..." She mumbled, hurrying out of the classroom, rushing to the library in her best run-walk she could do, and made it to the library.

She looked around, and realized she didn't know who she was supposed to be tutoring... She should have paid more attention... She looked around, and found a few people sitting at tables, casually reading their books in silence, none of them giving off an impression that they were looking to be tutored. The purple haired girl started to grow panicked as her heart rate began to spike, "Oh no oh no oh no..." She repeated under her breath, worrying thoughts filled her mind. "I'm such a failure..." She felt her legs shake as she grabbed her left arm, the urges storming her mind relentlessly... She stumbled back, and sat down at a table, trying to calm herself down, not noticing the chestnut haired girl with a white bow sitting across from her, holding a Japanese to English dictionary.

While she was having her breakdown, a voice from behind her whispered yelled, "Fucking stupid fucking teacher making me clean up after someone else... Hopefully my tutor didn't bail on me, I don't need a detention over this dumb crap..." Yuri looked behind her, confused who would come into a school library audibly speaking obscenities for anyone in a 20 foot radius of her.

Her eyes landed on a girl she had never seen before, which wasn't surprising considering she never looked half the students here. She was a tiny, petite girl with bubblegum pink hair and star ruby eyes. Her hair was neatly put up, and she had a bag hung loosely over her shoulder, looking around and rolling her eyes.

Yuri then remembered her mumbling about a tutor, and Yuri connected the dots. She was both glad that she wasn't the late one, in fact she had made it before the other girl, but she was also unsettled that she was stuck with a very... Improper and seemingly impolite and rowdy girl. But, one shouldn't rush to judgement so soon. She cleared her throat, and waved at the pink haired girl, "H-Hello... I-I um... I believe I a-am your tutor..." She squeaked out, her throat becoming dry as the girl's eyes fell onto her, and seemingly a shroud of disdain fell unto them. Had she said something to upset her already...?

"Oh great... My English tutor can barely speak Japanese..." The pinkette grumbled, slinking over to the table Yuri had sat down at just moments ago, dropping her bag next to her chair and quickly propping her face up on her hands. "Can we just leave and say that we were here for two hours?" She said in a dull tone, looking off into space, past Yuri.

"I-I-I um... D-Do you not want to g-get b-better...? I-Isn't that w-why you s-signed up to be tutored...?" Yuri stuttered, biting the inside of her lip. She had no idea how to talk to this girl, nor did she know what to do. She wanted to leave, of course... But she didn't want to lie to the teachers about her tutoring hours...

"I didn't fucking sign up, I was forced to because my English grade is so low. It's so stupid, why should we be forced to learn some other language? I already struggle enough in my Japanese Literature classes..." She grumbled, scrunching her nose up as she eyed the purple haired girl, making Yuri feel increasingly uncomfortable. "But I guess we should... Ugh... Not like I have anything better to do."

Yuri felt a little more relaxed, glad the prospect of lying to the school was off the table. She cleared her throat, "W-Well, it may seem silly at first, but you must understand the influence America has on the world, and they control a lot of trade and are responsible for the vast majority of our tourist... So, it's logical to have us understand their language when you think about it." Yuri explained, getting an eyeroll from the girl across from her.

"Whatever... Still stupid..." She looked away, then back to Yuri. "So, before we get started, what's your name?"

"Oh, um... It's Yuri, may I know yours?"

"Yuri? So your parents named you after a flower? That's cute. Anyways, my name is Natsuki."

"O-Oh... Y-Yes... I suppose they did... Lilies are a lovely flower so I can't complain... Yours is 'Summer Hope', right?" Yuri asked, feeling a bit more comfortable after learning the girl's name.

"Yep, one way to look at it. I don't think they named me for that though, to be honest my mom probably didn't even know kanji and just threw a few sounds together that sounded good," She rolled her eyes, "Anyways, we aren't talking about kanji. Let's get this English crap done so I can go home..."

"Oh!" Yuri, who had been clutching the dictionary to her chest, put it on the table, and bent down to her bag, grabbing a few basic English textbooks, "Of course, let's get started. So, when speaking or writing English..."

Yuri did her best to explain the rather complicated English sentence structures, and proper punctuation and the convoluted grammar rules. Despite her love for reading books in both Japanese and English, she hated writing in it, and she hated having to explain it. Especially when the person she was explaining it to was being... Difficult.

"Independent and dependent clauses still don't make any sense... I don't get what a clause is, and I don't understand why I should know what it is anyways!" Natsuki huffed, putting her head on the desk and running her hands through her bubblegum hair.

"Natsuki... If you just liste-"

"No! "Just listening" isn't working!"

"Natsuki, when identifying the dependent and independent clause, all you need to do is be able to identify what bit of text doesn't express a direct thought," She sai, and it was clear Natsuki had no idea what she meant by that. "Okay, so, for example, saying something like "Studying an English book." doesn't express a direct thought, and won't work as a sentence by itself, meaning it needs help becoming a complete sentence. Do you understand now?" Yuri explained in a soft tone, trying her best for the seemingly stressed pinkette.

"Yeah... Kinda, I guess. It's been an hour, can we go home now?" Natsuki asked, a hopeful glint in her eyes.

Yuri mulled over it for a moment, and sighed, "Sure... I'm tired, and it's getting close to dinner. My parents aren't home, so I need to cook for myself," Yuri explained, grabbing the textbook and dictionary and putting it away in her bag. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Natsuki. If we meet again, I hope to see that my knowledge has done you well." She stood up, and began to walk out.

"Ugh... You would be a perfect buddy for Monika... With all your smart person talk and dumb love for literature," Natsuki mumbled, and Yuri's ear perked up.

"Oh? Who is this Monika?" Yuri asked, and turned to face Natsuki.

"She's the stupid smart, extremely popular president of our dinky little literature club. You know, the kind of girl I hate with a passion, and make me want to bash their head in with a baseball bat. But, I guess Monika is okay. She isn't a bitch," Yuri cringed at Natsuki's vulgarity. She didn't like swearing, it made her uncomfortable.

But, ignoring that, she felt inclined to ask about the club, "A literature club? What's it like?" She asked, not having very high expectations considering someone like Natsuki was apart of it. Nothing against the girl, she just seemed to hate literature, and she assumed it wasn't a serious literature club if she was the type of person in it. She had also never even heard of the club, but, she barely knew any of the clubs in the first place, so it wasn't a shock.

"It's a club that's about, literature... Duh. Monika likes to have multiple types of literature lovers in our club, which is why I am in it, because she lets me read my manga in their and doesn't judge me for it like my d- I mean, like everyone else does..." She mumbled, and Yuri's eyes lit up.

"Is... There an opening for a new member?" Yuri asked timidly, and Natsuki shrugged.

"Yeah, I mean, we need new members I guess. It's pretty small, I'm surprised it's even called a club... So, you going to join or something?" Natsuki asked, picking up her bag, slinging it over her shoulder.

"I-I-I may..." Yuri looked away, and held the strap of her bag tightly.

"It's room 4-C, it starts at 3:15 everyday, Monday through Friday, although there are some days where Monika has practice or something else going on, like today, where club is cancelled. I'm making cupcakes tomorrow, I'll make an extra one if you want to come by. But if you're too late, Sayori may eat it..." She trailed off, and looked at the time on the clock hanging above the doorway, her eyes growing slightly wider. "I have to go! Bye!" She said quickly, and sped past Yuri, leaving her confused.

"Bye..." She muttered, as she followed suit, making her trip home.

She mulled the idea in her head. She loved literature, she wanted nothing more than to be able to go to a place where people around her loved it as well, it would be a nice safe space for her to be in the company of people who may actually like her...

But, on the other hand... Who knew how many people would be there? She wasn't able to ask before Natsuki sped off... And, she didn't know how long she could handle being around Natsuki. She seemed like an okay girl, but she was so vulgar and she seemed so defensive during our tutor session... Still, she was quite adorable...

"Stop being weird Yuri," She hit herself in the head with an open palm, walking back home walking up the steps to her door. She slipped her shoes off and put them next to the door, opening the door and closing it behind her. She met with the normal scene she saw everyday, cream colored walls, black leather furniture, a TV hung on the wall (that was only ever used for the weather broadcast and the late night news) and the paintings of flowers and ships her mother adored, perhaps too much.

She walked up the stairs and into her room, which had a different color scheme compared to the rest of the home. Her walls were midnight purple, with beige carpet instead of hardwood like the rest of the home. Her bed was small, but it was plenty big for her, with black sheets and a red velvet blanket that belonged to her great grandmother before she passed away. Her walls were mostly blank, but she had two vases next to her bed on two nightstands, one was a white rose and the other was a lily, her favorite flower. For... Obvious reasons.

She sat her bag down against her black dresser and sat on her bed.

She felt her body begin to shake, "Oh god am I... Actually going to join a club...? People... I'll be around so many... I can't... I shouldn't... I'll look like a moron... They'll hate me... Natsuki probably already does..." She mumbled to herself. She grabbed her left wrist and curled in on herself.

Her mind began swirl around like a hurricane, she was unable to focus on anything around her. All she could do was feel the pulsating blood flowing through her wrist, the beating of her heart echoed through her ears.

She needed release. She needed to calm down.

She looked over to the right of her bed, where her nightstand was. She reached a shaky hand to the top drawer, and opened it. She pulled out a large red box with a smooth exterior, golden wool stitched into it in spiral patterns. She put it on her bed, and flicked the latch, opening it to reveal her collection of knives. The beautiful steel glinted in the twilight sun that peaked through her white curtains. She picked up one in the middle, it was a curved blade with a red hue in the blade. The grip was studded with red stones, and was painted fire red with intricate flame-like designs.

Her mind was swirling around, she needed this... If she didn't... If she didn't she didn't know what would happen. All she knew was that it made it go away... The feeling off the steel knife against her pale skin made the pain go away and the tornado inside her mind to go away. She called it the "Storm" when she was like this. She didn't know what else to call it, but a storm was a perfect way to describe the disorder inside her disheveled mind.

"J-J-Just a little... Cut..." She lowered the steel to her wrist, and slowly slid it across her scarred wrist. Almost instantly, the storm in her mind disappeared, and relief flooded over her as she dropped her knife to the ground. She watched as the once clear skin now seeped the crimson liquid, and she watched it pool up and slide down her arm. She stood up, her legs a bit wobbly. She walked out of her room, and into the bathroom that was directly across from her room. She held her wrist over the sink and let it drip into the sink, and watched it, almost in a trance...

She shook her head, and quickly turned the water on, putting it under the stream and wincing slightly as the warm stream hit her open wound. As she did that, she opened the medicine cabinet over the sink, and pulled out a cotton swab, hydrogen peroxide, and gauze. She put the peroxide onto her cut, and seethed as it bubbled on her skin. She wiped it down with the swab, her eyes tightly shut as she did so.

She threw the bloodied swab in the trash, and wrapped up with gauze. She made sure it was tight against her wrist before she put everything away. She sat there in the bathroom, and sighed with content. She felt so much better after... But, she felt so sick that she enjoyed it... She felt sick that it made her relieved... She felt sick that she longed for it...

She quickly left the bathroom, trying to put what just happened out of her mind as she went to the kitchen to prepare her dinner.


End file.
